Bullet, NO if you go home late!

---*Everything below is a fiction*---

Keeping it short, I promise. A month back a friend of mine left to France. With couple of my other friends, I went to MAA( For people who don’t know what is the code of Madras Airport, it is MAA ) to see of him off… His Emirates flight was at morning 3.30 for which he went inside airport at 2 after bidding adieu.

After that my friends dropped me at home around 3am. It’s a lady staying alone in the house opposite to mine (don’t misunderstand me here). I’m not going to describe about her like Sidney Sheldon describing females in his “different fictions with same stories”. But it’s just too hard to tell you that in my opinion she is a little pshyc( I didn’t say psych )!

Hard luck, my friend was little thirsty, so I took water and came down to road… I’m not saying a lie, but we talked for sometime about all the important things in the world like, if Telungana needs to be created or why wouldn’t India help Afghanistan by sending in military troops, or why wouldn’t our government legalize prostitution…

By this time, I saw the lights at opposite house getting turned on! I know things are going to be stupid now, and asked the guys to leave immediately! I pity that move by the neighbor, so that we couldn’t make the most worthy decision which was about legalizing prostitution, but we have already decided about Telungana and to send Indian Army to Afghanistan!

I ran back to home and slept! No almost slept, and I’m hearing some discussions and whistle from outside home which called my attention. I’m not a guy with fear who doesn’t interfere in the social issues, I ran down! There is couple of police guys there in front of the house talking to the female at opposite house, and things was very clear for me! It feels terrible to understand that you were the anti-social element that caused the police’s whistle to blow!

The police guy is asks the lady “Where did the bullet sound come from?” and she replies, “Right in front of the house, here on the road”!!! Police guy looked terrified! I’m not getting a clue why is he so worried! Then he questions me about the authenticity of the claim by the women about the Bullet sound! I said it calmly (What mistake have I done?), “Yea, 15 minutes before it was, It was my friend!” He looks like fully confused with my claim!

God, even in my dream I never thought police can be this stupid! Shit, the female called the police and told there is a bullet sound from in front of our house and police thought it was somebody firing a revolver. My dear Police guys, in India bullet is also a bike which makes heavier sound than most of the modern pistols! Before you turn on that panic button and declare emergency, think a little! They’ve run to check the bullet sound, stupidity!

I doubt if it's a question or doubt & whether it needs to be asked?

It's a great fun looking behind, but it was one of the biggest tragedies in my onsite life. Some customers are always cunning and you need to handle them with utmost care. It used to be fun working with Japanese bosses, and I remember one of the incidents forever... It used to be a decent English speaking guy who has at least 30 years of experience and my offshore was working for a project with him. Being at the offshore where I was working, I never knew the difference between doubt and a question, and so was the case with my colleagues.

Somebody sends me a question from offshore and it reads "I've a doubt about the handling the slider for zoom and scale. Is it ok to update the image while the slider is dragged to a new position and dropped?". And I ring back to the offshore straight away feeling the question is stupid enough! But a pretty senior guy shows green to ask this question to the customer and I had no other go!

Then I goes to the customer-san, the best English speaking guy at whole office may be, and asks him. Customer-san, I've a doubt! The doubt is about the slider control and blah blah blah, bang bang bang... I must say, the color of his cheeks changed to red right when I finished the question and the first response from him was "Is it a doubt or a question?". Oops! I'm really not sure what the difference between both is! But I applied my logic; his face wouldn't have turned red if it was a doubt, so maybe it was a question! With all my confidence I answered, "Customer-san, I'm sorry! I think it was a question". And I thought think ended here, I promise I didn't even wanted an answer to my question or doubt or whatever it may be. I just need to get out of this mess now and go back to desk!

When I thought it was settled and ok, there comes the second amazing question from the red customer! It was a simple question, "Do you have common sense?” And I never give up, I gently replied, I'll check it with offshore and let you know. He got the point and I got mine too!

I always knew that the zoom slider is obsolete unless it does a real time update in the image! I still don't know why I trembled to the pressure of offshore and asked such a stupid question! Later I found that they were having some technical difficulty in updating the image real-time and they fix they found was to change the requirement. Sometime it’s so crazy!

Bon jour!

Indeed it's long time since I wrote something... Reason for this long gap is just that I don't have enough time to write down the blunders I make these days... And with no more introduction let me get into the matter!

These are the days with lots of people from Europe coming for our CTC parties. And most of them are somehow French... Okey, so I have a couple of known guys in there from the French gang and I thought why don't it surprise them with a little French next time! Ones a decision reached, screw up! I'm always good in keeping my moto and more good in making sure I screw up everytime...

Keeping it short, this time it was a well party, swimming with snakes in a well of Tambaram, Chennai. As always I was there on time, just 1 hour late, for the well party with no alcohol! And in my mind I kept saying to me, you say "bon jour" to French guy you see! And I walked in to the crowd, excited to see all those friends and a gang of my known French friends standing! I was sure that is the best time to say bon jour to one of the guy! I shaked hands with one whom I'm seeing for the first time and said "bon jour!". And I expected some reply back in French but he replied to me in plain good English! "I'm German!!!" And there ended the use of unknown languages to the people whom you never met before! I'm serious, its not really easy to differentiate between French and German's by looks, especially for an Indian!